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Showing posts from September, 2014

For the Love of Mrs. Rice

Dear Mrs. Rice,
Today, your husband was released by his professional football team because he has been graphically exposed for domestic abuse. When the incident happened, he was your fiancee. Many are asking why you went on to marry him.  You may not have an answer, but perhaps my life can help you figure that out.
I, too, was a victim of domestic violence.  Mine didn't start when I was married. It started before he ever asked me to marry him. It started as verbal abuse then escalated to mental and emotional abuse. By the time we were divorced, it had become physical on both our parts. Why did I marry him? I married him because I placed a higher value on the fear of what he would do to me verses how I felt about myself. I never thought it would happen to me. My ex-husband didn't have millions but every time each abusive episode ended, I kept thinking that maybe things would get better. I kept hoping it would change or just maybe if I stayed out of his way, he'd leave me a…

Confessions of a Single Woman: I Wanted a Man for the Wrong Reason

In my last "Confessions" post, I spoke of meeting a guy and really believing I was ready to be married. I went on to share it didn't work out and why. God showed me that marriage would not deliver me from my issues because that’s His job. He also showed me marriage would not rescue me. Even after the Lord corrected me on all that, I still had one more reality to face. I wanted a man for the wrong reason. My reason for wanting to be with someone was birthed out of years of rejection by man after man. I wanted a man just so that I could say to people "I have someone.” I used to dream about changing my Facebook relationship status and the feeling of accomplishment that went along with it. I wanted the news to somehow filter back to my exes that this treasure of a woman was now taken. I wanted to stick it to every man that had ever done me wrong. Yes, I, Tamara, who loves God with everything in me, secretly wanted revenge.
I say secretly because I would never SAY this o…