Confessions of A Single Woman: Marriage Will Not Deliver You

Over the last few days, the Lord has really ministered to me about singleness and my life as a single woman of God. For quite some time, He’s been undoing a mindset I had about being single. I don’t know if I am the only one who’s ever thought this way but I want to share with you something about me that may help you to understand, and perhaps be delivered from erroneous thinking when it comes to being single in the Lord.

For a very long time, I thought life without a mate was pointless.  I was a single parent and I used to believe children were a chore, not a joy.  So there I was, three kids with no husband.  To me, life was just life and there was no excitement and joy to it because all I did was work and come home to take care of my kids. However, behind the scenes, I tried to fill my own void by being with different men with the hopes that one of them would eventually “see” me and rescue me from my mundane life of parenting and work.

I started going back to church but my mindset was still this:  I didn’t want to own a home without a husband, I didn’t want to travel without a husband, I didn’t want to “do” life without a husband. In other words, there was no “life” in single living. I only saw “joy” with a man. Now, no one ever said these words to me but these messages were indirectly sent to me by my surroundings and upbringing. One day, the Lord challenged me and said, “Tamara, let Me show you what I can do in your life without a husband.”  When He said that, I immediately knew He wasn’t trying to demean or put down marriage because He created marriage. What He wanted me to see was how beautiful my life could be in Him.  I surrendered to the challenge and friends, the Lord has not disappointed me!

Over the last 10 years, He has truly magnified Himself in my life. However, two years ago, I thought I was ready for a relationship. I thought I was headed for marriage only to discover that God was now going for the gusto. He wanted me DELIVERED!  He has blessed me indeed with some wonderful, material things and a full, beautiful, peaceful life.  But underneath the hidden surface, there were thoughts and behaviors lying dormant and hiding in my spirit until He dropped a mind renewing, heart-shifting, spirit changing revelation on me yesterday—marriage will not deliver you! I’ll say it again—marriage will not deliver you! Some of you may already know that and are walking strongly in that revelation.  Praise God!  I, on the other hand, just GOT IT!  I didn’t want to accept my singleness, even though I seemed to be excelling in it. In my spirit, there was a battle going on because I was really waiting for “life to begin” with marriage. I was SO wrong!  So on yesterday, I officially gave up my quest to supersede God’s timing in my life. 

Ladies, if we don’t get this, we will keep settling for Buster.  I don’t need to tell you who Buster is because you already know.  We must make God our “more than enough” in every area and you can start by confessing that He is. I had to pray for the desire to have God be my more than enough because truthfully, I didn’t want Him to be that. The enemy had me deceived by getting me to think that making God my “more than enough” was boring. HOGWASH!!!  See, I don't want to get caught up in this “I’m doing me” foolishness. I am not my own and for my survival, He has to be my more than enough. Period! Ladies, when we make Him our “more than enough” there won’t be any room for Buster. By making God your “more than enough” you give Him access to shape and shift your life in ways you never imagined.  Ask me how I know. :)

© 2014 by Tamara D. Davis


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