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Showing posts from 2014

Confessions of a Single Woman: I Didn't Know How to Act Around a Man

Yes, you read that right! I didn't know how to act around a man...that is, a man who liked me and I liked him. Now, if I didn't like him or he didn't like me, I was cool.  But if there was a mutual "likeness" going on, I had a problem!  My emotions and feelings went into overdrive, as did my controlling, fearful side. So, I had to ask God why was I like that?  The answer was simple: I wasn't used to being treated well by a man and I didn't know how to "relate" to one either. Come again God?

As He took me back over my life, my relationship encounters with men were almost always sexual.  What I didn't realize was that this pattern was training me to deal with men in three ways: sleep with them, cut them off, or wait for them to leave. Every man I ever dealt with relationship wise fell into one of these three categories. Now, this excludes men with whom who I was genuinely friends.  But all the other ones could be placed there.

When I gave my l…

For the Love of Mrs. Rice

Dear Mrs. Rice,
Today, your husband was released by his professional football team because he has been graphically exposed for domestic abuse. When the incident happened, he was your fiancee. Many are asking why you went on to marry him.  You may not have an answer, but perhaps my life can help you figure that out.
I, too, was a victim of domestic violence.  Mine didn't start when I was married. It started before he ever asked me to marry him. It started as verbal abuse then escalated to mental and emotional abuse. By the time we were divorced, it had become physical on both our parts. Why did I marry him? I married him because I placed a higher value on the fear of what he would do to me verses how I felt about myself. I never thought it would happen to me. My ex-husband didn't have millions but every time each abusive episode ended, I kept thinking that maybe things would get better. I kept hoping it would change or just maybe if I stayed out of his way, he'd leave me a…

Confessions of a Single Woman: I Wanted a Man for the Wrong Reason

In my last "Confessions" post, I spoke of meeting a guy and really believing I was ready to be married. I went on to share it didn't work out and why. God showed me that marriage would not deliver me from my issues because that’s His job. He also showed me marriage would not rescue me. Even after the Lord corrected me on all that, I still had one more reality to face. I wanted a man for the wrong reason. My reason for wanting to be with someone was birthed out of years of rejection by man after man. I wanted a man just so that I could say to people "I have someone.” I used to dream about changing my Facebook relationship status and the feeling of accomplishment that went along with it. I wanted the news to somehow filter back to my exes that this treasure of a woman was now taken. I wanted to stick it to every man that had ever done me wrong. Yes, I, Tamara, who loves God with everything in me, secretly wanted revenge.
I say secretly because I would never SAY this o…

Check it at the Door

Proverbs 4:23-27 MSG says Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts. Don't talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust. Walk with me for a minute…imagine your hear a ring or a knock at the door.  The person at the door is dressed very nicely and looks fairly decent. However, you wait to see what he/she wants or what he/she starts talking about. You are still on guard.  As he/she begins to speak you, they threaten you. Immediately, you close the door!  The person leaves, never to return. Friends, this is the same attitude we must have in the spirit when it comes to guarding our hearts.  When we fellowship with bitterness, gossip, angst, fear and anxiety, we are opening the door to a discombobulated life. Notice I didn’t say “when we fellow…

Purification of a Queen Part 4: To Everything There Is a Season

Thank you for joining me for the last and final part of this series. It has been such a treat to let you in on the revelation God gave to me about this passage of scripture in the book of Esther. It has helped to shape me in so many ways. In my previous post, I talked about the importance of seeking, accepting and acting on godly wisdom. (click here for part 3).  Today, I conclude the series by discussing submitting to God’s time and God’s process in your life.
As we read the text that has been the backdrop for this series, Esther 2:5-14, we learn that she is a part of a group of women selected to go before the king in hopes of being chosen to be the next queen. However, before she got her chance to go before him, she spent a year in preparation (verse 12).  That time of preparation consisted of “six months with oil of myrrh and six months with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women.”  Oil of myrrh was sometimes used as an antiseptic.  Let’s take a look at the word “antisepti…

Be Anxious for Nothing...and I Mean NOTHING!

As a former depressed person, the enemy tries to bring that spirit back but I have learned to resist him! (James 4:7) I have learned to use the weapon God gave me which is HIS word coming from MY mouth. Here are some scriptures that I speak for certain things. You have to know this—you shall have what you say. Life and death are in the power of YOUR tongue. The more you keep speaking “the devil is grabbing at me” or "he's on my back" the more he’s going to come at you. The Lord put him under your FOOT! Start speaking what God says about it, whatever “it” is. So, if you are feeling anxious about anything, look at these:
Proverbs 12:25 NKJV Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad. When I’m feeling uneasy or anxious about something, I open my mouth and say “Lord, I thank You for my good word.” And I keep saying it over and over, well each time the anxiety tries to rise up, and before I know it I am calm again because the Lord …

Purification of a Queen Part 3: In All Your Getting

Last year, I started a blog series called Purification of a Queen. I intended to do all four parts back to back, but due to my own lack of diligence and faithfulness, it didn't happen. So, here we are, over a year later, continuing with part three. Please accept my apologies and let us move into today's post with excitement.

Esther 2:5-14 has been the backdrop for this series. Every time I read the book of Esther, I see similarities in my own life, which inspired me to write this series.  In the first part of this series, titled A Good Name is Rather to Be Chosen, I talked about the importance of having a good name. In part two, titled Come out From Among Them, I went on to discuss the critical element of separating ourselves from those who walk in darkness or who have ungodly influences on us. Today, I'll continue the series with discussing the importance of seeking, accepting and acting on godly wisdom.

In Esther 2:10 we see that Mordecai instructed Esther not to reveal h…

Be Made Whole

Today, my son broke a drinking glass. I didn't know he broke the glass until he told me. He said he cleaned up all the glass, but I know my son. So, I told him to turn on all the lights so we can see if he got all of the pieces because we wouldn't want anyone to step on glass and get cut. After we turned on all the lights, we saw several missed pieces of glass.  This time, I stepped in and made sure all the glass was cleaned up properly.

When our lives are broken or we've made a mess of things, our instinct is to clean it up. We think we got all the pieces, thus we try to put our own lives back together. Friends, the Word of God is the light we need in order to see ALL the pieces of our lives that need to be cleaned up. Some of us are in relationships hurting and "cutting" other people because of the brokenness that remains. These could be dating relationships or just friendships.  We can't pick up all the pieces ourselves because friends, we don't know w…

A Chat With...

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Michelle Stimpson Author, Speaker, Educator

Those of you who’ve read anything I’ve written pretty much know I don’t mind sharing my testimony.  Today is no different!  A little over ten years ago, I was getting into the groove of  my brand new relationship with God. However, I was still reading books that were not conducive to Christian living. I felt a tugging in my spirit to stop reading those kinds of books.  So, I did. I stopped cold turkey. Being that I was an avid reader, I didn’t know what to read and was really at a loss but I made up in my mind that I was not going back.  For about eighteen months, I didn’t read anything, not one book.  On my 30th birthday, I was blessed with my first Christian novel. That one book opened the door for me to discover some truly godly, passionate and gifted authors.  Today, I am honored to interview one of my favorite authors, Mrs. Michelle Stimpson. I hope you are thoroughly blessed by our chat. Enjoy!
Tamara Davis:Please take a few sentences to…

You Can Stop Hiding Now

Yesterday, I was looking for the lid to my pot. Now, I could’ve used something else to cover the pot, but I needed THAT lid. I only keep my pots and lids in one place. I looked there and it wasn’t there.  I checked the dishwasher, it wasn’t there. I checked the sink to see if it was dirty (although I knew it was clean) and it wasn’t there. I looked over and over in those same three places and it was not there. Then I got mad and claimed someone threw it away. I kept looking in cabinets where I really didn't think it would be, well I half looked in those cabinets because I didn't think it was there. By this time, five minutes had gone by and now, I was irritated. I finally took one last look and there it was, hiding under some paper towels in a cabinet where it wasn't supposed to be. I got to thinking about how God is looking for us and we are not where we're supposed to be. He's looking for us day after day but for whatever reason, we are not in place. Husbands, He…

All Things Have Become New

Many of you have been to this site before but I thank you for coming back and being so supportive of me. The Lord has given me so much to say and I'll be saying more of it in the days ahead. I'm so excited about the direction of this blog so please be patient with me as I refresh and revamp. I hope to always encourage my old friends and many new ones to come. I look forward to growing together as we continue to celebrate being daughters of the King.  I love you all and stay tuned!

Confessions of A Single Woman: Marriage Will Not Deliver You

Over the last few days, the Lord has really ministered to me about singleness and my life as a single woman of God. For quite some time, He’s been undoing a mindset I had about being single. I don’t know if I am the only one who’s ever thought this way but I want to share with you something about me that may help you to understand, and perhaps be delivered from erroneous thinking when it comes to being single in the Lord.
For a very long time, I thought life without a mate was pointless.  I was a single parent and I used to believe children were a chore, not a joy.  So there I was, three kids with no husband.  To me, life was just life and there was no excitement and joy to it because all I did was work and come home to take care of my kids. However, behind the scenes, I tried to fill my own void by being with different men with the hopes that one of them would eventually “see” me and rescue me from my mundane life of parenting and work.
I started going back to church but my mindset wa…

Protect Your Peace

Earlier this week I posted on Facebook about being stuck.  The Lord gave me the revelation that if the enemy can get you stuck at one particular place in your life, he’s got you. I came to realize that he has no new tricks, just different packaging.  He is not interested in the new because he only recreates the old.  He attempts to take something that looks very close to what God said and put his own perverted spin on it. He did the exact thing to Jesus after He had been in the wilderness for 40 Days (Luke 4) and to Eve by enticing her to eat the fruit. (Genesis 3) Friends, we have to be certain of what God has spoken to us about our lives, our homes, our ministries, etc. Jesus was able to resist the enemy by combating him with the Word. Eve was not so fortunate. She yielded to his temptation and her yielding produced generational consequences. We must not allow ourselves to yield to the snares, lures and devices of the enemy. He comes to war against ours souls and disrupt our peace…

I Waved the White Flag

At the beginning of 2013, I was yet again an emotional and mental mess.  I was the cause of this mess because I didn’t heed the voice of God about a relationship I thought had so much promise. I desperately desired for it to work out but it didn’t. I was sobbing to God, asking why it didn’t work out and why did I still have to wait for “him” to come along. I was hoping and wishing that something would change between us so that we could be together again.  I’ll be honest with you all…I was tired of waiting.  I wanted to strongly love a man and I wanted a man to strongly love me. I thought I knew better and I really believed I knew what I was doing. I just KNEW this was FINALLY my season, my time to be betrothed. I figured so many years had gone by so it MUST be time by now! (SN The passing of time does not guarantee you are ready for something).  So, when things fell apart, I couldn’t understand why!  I didn’t WANT to understand why. In my mind, I kept thinking “If he would’ve tried a …