From an Aunt With Love

This Blog is dedicated to my niece, Vernecia M., AKA Auntie’s Baby!

Recently, my niece encountered a situation where her name was allegedly being dragged through the mud by a former boyfriend.  She responded to the situation out of her anger (flesh) and not out of her spirit (temperance).  So, being that she’s Auntie’s baby, I had to get on her case and school her on some classic rules of Grown Ladyhood.

Rule #1
Stop letting your life play out on Facebook.  With the advent of social media, too many people are letting private, sensitive issues play out over Facebook. Some people might disagree with me but discretion is STILL an important character trait, especially for women. Proverbs 11:13 says “A talebearer reveals secrets but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.”  The Message Bible puts it this way “A gadabout gossip can't be trusted with a secret, but someone of integrity won't violate a confidence.”  We must know when to talk and when to be quiet. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a man say “She’s fine and she’s nice but she runs her mouth too much. I had to bounce!”  Yes, we talk way more than men but every thought that comes to our minds doesn’t have to be voiced (in the words of my beloved Auntie Paulette).  Facebook should be place of fun and encouragement, not continual episodes of “As My Life Turns.”

Rule #2
You are never going to be able to do what a man does and still be called a lady.  Newsflash: the rules of engagement are different! It may not seem fair but it’s the truth. If you try, you will ALWAYS come out looking like a skank no matter what. Regardless of how badly a man messes up or does you wrong, if you don’t handle the situation in a mature manner you will come out looking like the bad guy. Case in point:  a woman was dating a guy she worked with.  She found out that he was dating another woman at the same job.  All three of them ended up at a restaurant after work.  She confronted him and showed her natural born tail at the restaurant by slapping him.  Now, who do you think was talked about the most back at the job????!?!?  You got it!  She was.

Ladies, men and women ARE different and God made it that way for a reason.  I LOVE being a woman! I LOVE being a lady!  We were not built nor were we designed to be hard and brute. He has charged them with responsibilities we can’t and shouldn’t have to handle just as He’s charged US with responsibilities they can’t and shouldn’t have to handle.  

Rule #3
You can never control what other people say about you but you CAN control how you react to it.  There is only one person in this earth who you have absolute control over—YOU!  Nobody can MAKE you happy just like nobody can MAKE you mad.  You have a CHOICE as to how you respond when someone does something you like or don’t like.  Folks are going to say and do stuff that will crawl under your last nerve!  According to Proverbs 29:11 NIV, however, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”  

Rule #4
A good reputation is easier to maintain than to rebuild.   Proverbs 22:1 says “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold.”  Living by Godly principles and character will carry you further than any amount of money ever will.  Your name and reputation are important! Names in the bible meant something!  People knew who you were by your name! When your name is mentioned, what do people immediately think of you? Strive to keep your reputation intact because putting it back together may be more than what you bargained for.

Rule #5
There will always be people who will try to paint your name dirty but don’t supply the paint.  Enough said.

©2011 by Tamara D. Davis
Unless otherwise noted all scriptures taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.  Used by permission. All rights reserved.


  1. Tamara this was my first time stopping by to read your blog and I must say that this was exactly what I needed to read. Keep doing what you're doing you'll be blessed just as you're being a blessing to others! Love ya!

  2. Praise God! Thank you Tasha. I'm so glad it blessed you.

  3. Yes Yes Yes! All that you wrote is true to the umpth degree (yes I made that up!) I am so glad to see a fellow blogger! I have been blogging since 2007 and I am in the process of a do over. I will send you a message through face book when we resurface, but until then I will be reading your blog and commenting as much as I can. God bless you!

  4. Thank you Nicole!!! We have so much talent in the family!

  5. WOW Auntie....That Was Good!I Really Needed To Hear That!


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