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Showing posts from 2011

Ignore the Signs If You Want To, Part 2

Yes, Leo was engaged to be married! My heart shattered into a million pieces. I held on to the painful secret for 3 more days as I walked around with a bleeding heart. He didn’t have any idea that I knew.We didn’t live in the same city and at that point it was really good that we didn’t! I finally confronted Leo with the help of a third party since he lied to me and told me his phone wasn’t working properly.One never knows when his or her lie will catch up with them. Leo’s lie caught up with him while he was in the car with his soon to be new wife.Three lives were changed in a matter of minutes. Later that evening, I spoke with her and we compared timelines.He lied to the both of us, except she had a bigger decision to make because she was marrying him in two weeks.After I got off the phone, I cried like a baby. The rejection pierced my heart so strongly and now, I was left to pick up all the pieces by myself.I prayed two things “Lord, don’t let my heart grow bitter towards men because…

The Power of Communication—Never Stop Talking, Never Stop Listening

For the last four years I’ve been friends with an extraordinary woman of God. We met by way of a friend of an ex-boyfriend.These last four years have been the most eye opening for me becauseI’ve learned more about me—the good, the bad and the ugly. Our friendship started off swift and strong with me being me and she being she! LOLWe are two people filled with the love of God in our hearts so we made no hesitation to show the love of God being that we were sisters in Christ. Two years into our friendship, a shift happened.My flaws started showing up and a mirror was put in my face.What I saw was my judgmental side and inability to receive love.These two combinations were my classic defense mechanisms to protect my heart.For two more years after that, confusion entered in and I gradually shut down.I stopped sharing my heart because I didn’t know how to operate after being called out. I felt like I was on a spiritual surf board going up and down with each new wave hitting me. For me, thin…

Connections

About two months ago, I pulled out a book I’d stashed away for a couple of years titled Heavenly Places by Kimberly Cash Tate.As I sat under the drier (one should not be under the dryer without a good book) and began to read, I quickly became immersed in the story line.I finished the book in record time and took the liberty of e-mailing this newly discovered author.I explained in detail how richly blessed I was by this book.Prior to reading her book, I’d been feeling a longing in my spirit to experience something different when it came to showing and receiving the love of God. I wanted to move past my skin color and enter a desegregated world of honoring, loving and worshipping the Lord.God placed the desire in me so I knew it was a matter of time before He gave me my desire.Never did I imagine that two months later He would expose me to a world of women from across the nation dedicated to supporting each other through her blog. My first impression of her blog was “Wow God! Is this wha…

Life On The Lips!

“Life and death are in the power of the tongue.”  Life.  Death.  Life and death—polar opposites but yet, dispensable by the same instrument—our tongues.
Most of us have probably heard this scripture over and over and while we believe it, some of don’t always live by it.  Perhaps we’ve underestimated the power of words and what they represent when we speak them.  God created the entire earth with WORDS! He spoke both you and me into existence.  Words have creative power and since we were created in His image, our words have the same power.
The tongue is like a pink tornado when used the wrong way.  Tornadoes often come without warning, leave a lot of damage and keep moving like nothing ever happened.  Destructive words do the same thing: hurt the intended target without warning, leave a lot of damage such as bruised egos, hurt feelings and broken hearts, while the person spewing the words have gone on about their business with no clue as to what just happened.
Today, I urge you to choose …

Still Weightless

Earlier today I was driving down one of my favorite streets in the city.I was behind a dump truck hauling an assortment of damaged and broken bricks. The truck was moving very slowly, almost in a sluggish state.As the dump truck made its way down the street at a snail’s pace, traffic began to back up.The drivers became impatient and soon swerved from behind the truck to continue their journey.With my eyes fixed on the truck, I started thinking about how many of us are like that—weighted down to the point of barely moving.Being that this was a dump truck, I’m sure most of the junk on this truck was probably put there by other people. Have you allowed yourself to become weighted down by the concerns and problems of others?Are you everybody’s dumping ground?Well here’s the solution for you:anytime anyone comes to you with their “mess” direct them to God!God says in 1 Peter 5:7 (NKJV) “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you”.The importance of doing that is so that YOU don’t b…

Are You Serving Tainted Water?

Below is the very first article I wrote for WOW! Magazine in May of 2006. Enjoy!

Imagine you're outside and it's about 95 degrees.  We're talking about Florida hot, the kind of hot where it feels like 102 degrees in the shade.  It's extremely hot and you're thirsty.  It's so hot, your water wants some water!  You ask your friend for a glass of ice water because you can't deal with this any longer.  As you anticipate getting some much needed fluids in your body you began to get happy at that thought of some ice-cold water going down your throat! You start getting upset because you wanted to move up north a long time ago and this Florida heat is getting on your last nerve, but Big Mama 'nem would have your throat if you ever left.  It seems like your friend is taking such a long time to bring you some water but finally you see her coming!  As you take the glass from her the coolness soothes your hands.  "Yes Lawd!" you exclaim to yourself as you …

Ignore The Signs If You Want To! Part 1

Before you go any further, let me tell you this…YES, I am writing about another one of my relationships.Why? Because it’s where I’ve had my greatest failures, which produced my greatest victories!So buckle up, here we go. “Leo” caught my eye in the summer of 2004 so I took the liberty of introducing myself to him.He was immediately taken by my ability to carry on a decent conversation and truth be told, I admired the same thing in him.Our first telephone conversation lasted for six hours!Within the next seven days, we had our first date.We visited some of my favorite places around the ‘Burg, one of which is The Pier.As we strolled along the pier, we talked some more and grew quite comfortable around each other. I felt like I’d known him my whole life! Not since my high school boyfriend had I felt this way about a man.As if that eight hour date wasn’t enough, he drove over from Orlando the next day to see me again!At that moment I knew he was a keeper and I was officially smitten. About…

Weightless

I felt her pain as if it was fresh, as if the wounds happened just yesterday. The mental confusion and aguish seemed to radiate off each page. The woman in those pages ached for companionship and longed to be heard, admired and understood.She allowed herself to be used and tossed aside like a rag doll.She tried to be a man eater, only to be eaten away by her big heart.You see, she wasn’t built for that.She wasn’t built to carry the load of being destructive and abused.She crumbled under the weight of trying to live up to what the world said a woman had to do in order to feel accepted. For the last several days, I’ve been reading through ten years of journaling.I started at the end then went back to the beginning.As I was reading through my life from 2000-2002, I got heavy.I was suddenly so sad and full of tears for the woman I read about in those pages.Although she’s no more, I still wanted to weep. There are many women and young girls succumbing to the wiles of satan and his continual…

From an Aunt With Love

This Blog is dedicated to my niece, Vernecia M., AKA Auntie’s Baby!
Recently, my niece encountered a situation where her name was allegedly being dragged through the mud by a former boyfriend.  She responded to the situation out of her anger (flesh) and not out of her spirit (temperance).  So, being that she’s Auntie’s baby, I had to get on her case and school her on some classic rules of Grown Ladyhood.

Rule #1 Stop letting your life play out on Facebook.  With the advent of social media, too many people are letting private, sensitive issues play out over Facebook. Some people might disagree with me but discretion is STILL an important character trait, especially for women. Proverbs 11:13 says “A talebearer reveals secrets but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.”The Message Bible puts it this way “A gadabout gossip can't be trusted with a secret, but someone of integrity won't violate a confidence.”  We must know when to talk and when to be quiet. I can’t tell you …

From Our Daddy’s Heart To Yours

My Beloved Daughter,
Oh, how I love you!For too long, the world has infiltrated your mind with their standard of beauty.Their standards are always changing but My standards never change.Measure yourself to me, my daughter, not the world. I bestowed you with a kind of beauty that the world can never achieve. My grace is sufficient for you and I adorned you with the grace to live out My full plan and potential for your life.  Stop being afraid! I beseech you to stop being afraid of your past and of what people might say or think.My dear daughter stop being afraid of failure!In Me there is no failure, only victory. I created you to love! I created you to teach, train, build and conquer. I created you to live and not die.I created you to prosper and have the very best in life. I did not create you to settle for anything less than My best.I created you to have more than enough and not to be content with lack or just enough. I created you to thrive! I created you for sanctification and holin…

Triple S: Successfully Single and Saved

This morning I was meditating about my life and how thankful to God I am for the change He’s done in my mind and heart. I was particularly thinking on my singleness and what it means.I am so very proud of myself for finally following God’s lead on relationships and singleness.I didn’t get this way overnight! I had a LOT of bumps in the road before I finally made a quality decision to get on the path of the straight and narrow. Staying on this path takes total trust in God.Let me share some things I’ve learned while living successfully in this season of singleness: 1.You must realize and know that God loves you and has a beautiful plan for your life. (Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope).You have to stop asking “God, why don’t I have anyone?” and ask “God, what is it that I am supposed to be doing for Your Kingdom during this time?”Listen for an answer and pursue what He tells …

The Rise and Fall of Big Sunset

Chocolate.Tall. Burly. Kind. Attentive. Needy. Obsessive. Seductive. I met “Big Sunset” in the spring of 2007 on a social networking website.His profile picture was taken against a beautiful backdrop of a gorgeous sunset.I was immediately drawn to his physical appearance because he was “my type”, hence the nickname Big Sunset.I convinced myself that there was no harm in an innocent friendship. I wasn’t dating anyone so I felt free to engage in the process of getting to know him.We started out by sending messages via e-mail and Instant Messaging, eventually moving to telephone conversations.During our very first conversation, the Holy Spirit said to me “cut him off”.Instead, I conferred with my flesh and said “there’s no harm in having a friend.”Right? I ignored the instruction and kept talking to him. Each time I talked to him, it got harder and harder to cut him loose. I was being wooed by his words.He kept telling me how nice and kind I was.He kept saying he could just hang on my ever…

I Finally Got It!

As a little girl, I often felt like no one in the world understood me.No one knew how to communicate with me in a way that made me feel special.I felt ordinary and common. I didn’t feel pretty, beautiful or as if I mattered very much.As a matter of fact, an adult once told me I was ugly and because I was raised in a generation where whatever an adult said was the gospel, I believed the lady that spoke this to me.Among other lies spoken to me, the major one that affected my choices was that my biological father didn’t want me so he rejected me.I grew up in a home where we had a daddy, but he wasn’t MY daddy.However, he raised us and we called him daddy. He provided for us, took us on trips, disciplined us and was mama’s companion for nearly 14 years.In spite of this I never felt like daddy’s little girl.I longed to feel special, appreciated, and adored.I wanted to know what it felt like to be his “baby girl”. I wanted to be poured into and encouraged.In daddy’s defense he had no clue h…

A Love Letter To The Brokenhearted

My Beloved, Today seems like the end of your world.The pain is unbearable.You don’t have to admit it or say anything.I can tell by the look on your face and the slowness in your movement that you want to give up and quit.I know the hurt you’re feeling has sucked the air right out of your lungs and your heart has been broken into many pieces.This situation has caused you to stand with your toes right on the edge, waiting for the slightest wind to come and send you over.Sweetheart, I’m here to keep you from going over. Before you were born, before you were in your mother’s womb, I knew you.I created you and I gave you a purpose.I knew this day, this very moment, would come.I know how broken you feel right now.Go ahead and cry.It’s okay.Let the cleansing tears flow.It’s time.It’s time to stop running and face this head on.You haven’t talked about the pain because it’s so deep.I’ve watched you time and time again, disguising the pain with food, material things, masks, and men.You no longer …