The events of the last week brought me face to face with something that tormented me for eighteen years. For those of you who've been reading about my life know that I was bound by a soul tie. For those of you who don't know, let me give you a little history.
When I was sixteen years old, I met "Adonis". He was what the world calls "my first love." By allowing him to be my first sexual partner, I had no idea what I was opening myself up to. We dated until I was almost twenty years old and during that time, I became extremely attached to him in ways that I later realized were a detriment to my progress as a woman.
For eighteen years after the relationship ended, I was tormented mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Inside of me battles were taking place and I was continually on the losing end of them. On the outside, no one could tell, or at least I thought they couldn’t. The world often says "you'll never get over your first love." You know why? Because you are soul tied and that’s not something to be happy about. The more I grew in Christ, the more I understood why God intended for our first sexual encounter to be with our spouse. This is the only person God intended for us to have that level of connection with.
In 2012 I wanted to be free...FOR REAL! I was tired of the dreams, the discontent in my soul, tired of feeling like I was a failure because it didn't work out, and tired of being harassed by the devil. Enough was enough! Before this moment, I had no idea how much I was bound. All I knew was that I needed help to break free and to get over that time period. I turned to the one person who I knew could do it--God. I asked Him one question, "God, should I go to therapy?" The answer to that question and my freedom came from His word.
John 14:26 Amplified Version says this "But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you." My eyes and spirit locked on the word Counselor. Friends, I went to therapy with the Holy Spirit! I had therapy in the world once so I knew the protocol. Every spare, alone time minute I had, it was spent in therapy. In my car, on walks, in the shower, it didn't matter! I didn't care what time of day it was. For three weeks, all I did was talk with the Holy Spirit and He talked back. He broke the chains that were gripped around my soul! I knew I was free but I also knew my freedom would be tested.
Three years have passed since that moment when God let me know that I was free. However, I had to learn how to walk out my deliverance. The torment tried to resurface on several occasions, but I didn't yield to it. Every time I yielded to freedom, I gained a new level of strength, strength I'd come to need over the last week.
As I stood in the presence of "Adonis" this week, what once made my heart palpitate and my breathing nearly stop, empowered me to give God praise! See, "Adonis" was not the culprit. It was the deceit and torment of the enemy that had me trapped. So many other times, I thought I was free but I was not. When I meandered around the same room as he, there was no weight tied to me! For the first time in two decades, I was not moved! My mind stayed still. My thoughts were in check. My physical body was at peace. I now had soul harmony instead of the anguish of being soul tied. Glory to God! Hallelujah! God can and will break EVERY chain if you allow Him to. Did she just say "allow" Him to? I thought God could do anything. He can and He will but only if you let Him.
Anything you desire from God starts with a quality decision, a choice, even the choice to be free. We can say anything with our mouths but it's the heart that tells the truth. In those three weeks, the Holy Spirit got to the root of the issue and God plucked it up. (Matthew 15:13) The truth was ugly but extremely liberating! For nearly two decades, I walked around frozen in time on the inside. Friends, don't let the enemy continue to lie to you and tell you "it's too late for you" or "you'll always be this way." I don't care how long it's been or how deep the issue is, NOTHING is impossible with God.